Screwing Up and Living it Up

I’m not doing resolutions, I’m not toasting at midnight. No parties, by choice. I’m not eating black-eyed peas and cornbread tomorrow for good luck, as has been tradition for – well – 38 years of my life. Well, maybe I still will cook the peas and cornbread, not that I believe in the good luck fairy. I can poke black-eyed peas down my son but it’d be an outright war if I tried to get my daughter to nibble one minuscule of a monstrous pea. Oh, the horror.

In the single revolution that the earth completes around the blazing sun, we live and die, create and take away, hate and love. We hope and give up, we are vulnerable or closed, and choose words that give life or diminish. Wars obliterate nations. Acts of kindness blossom into conviviality. So much bustle, so much joy, so much happiness, so much sadness. It’s all but a blip in time. But really, what is time? Time is only that necessary need of human nature that marks events and ticks away moments. To be outside of time is simply to not exist, at least in this ephemeral existence. One day time will not tick so prominently in these temporal ears.

Tonight is the night. It’s the night for hopes and dreams, for stupidity or for genius. I choose to pull for the underdog tonight – that person who keeps on hoping and trying regardless of the odds. I hope that people’s dreams were realized in 2013 and will be reached in 2014. Forget what others think about you and simply LIVE and DREAM.

I’m living my dream. 2013 brought with it fatuity as well as re-birth for me. In 2013 I greatly stepped outside of my comfort zone and opened myself up to great vulnerability and was met with a resounding brick wall, and I was left with having to pick up the shards of my emotions and plaster them back together in the semblance of a person. Think of paper mache around a shriveled balloon, but that balloon wouldn’t stay shriveled for long. I don’t regret it in the most remote semblance of my being. I opened myself up with complete vulnerability and at least tried something. It may have failed like a flattened cake, but the rest of 2013 surpassed my expectations. I found passion in learning about the brain, mind, and the spiritual connection between both. Once again God proved faithful in goodness in life. I officially started a new business that helps people with anxiety and depression. Who knew? So I don’t make any money right now to support it – who cares? One of these days with faithfulness and hard work, God will provide, and all the money I need to open up mental health clinics in impoverished areas of the world (if that truly is God’s call), will be available. I’m confident of that. I hope and pray that any person reading this could live with abandon, get over screw-ups in life, and ride on the wave of God’s power. Yeah, God’s power. I shouldn’t be functioning right now with the 2 episodes of depression I have had in the past. They statistically should have been life-stopping. Instead, because I simply made the choice to give every plane of this short life to Jesus Christ and I sought out help, I am on a colossal wave of human existence. It’s not by my efforts but by God’s glory. Break out of those blasted chains tonight and live life like never before. It’s possible.

See life from a different angle.

See life from a different angle, even if it is from swollen post-marathon tootsies.

 

Comments

  1. says

    You GO sister! I LAUNCHED OUT 22 YEARS AGO INTO A WHOLE NEW ENDEAVOR OF CHRISTIAN MENTAL HEALTH, HAVING PREVIOUSLY BEEN A YOUTH WORKER. I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED THAT MOVE. GOD HAS NOW SEEN FIT TO GIVE ME ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE A CHANGE INTO WHAT IS YET UNDEFINED AND UNKNOWN. WHERE I HAVE NOT BATTLED DEPRESSION LIKE YOU, THE LORD HAS SEEN ME THROUGH NUMEROUS HEALTH ISSUES, AND HE CONTINUES TO DO SO. I ENCOURAGE YOU, USING AS YOUR WORDS ENCOURAGED ME. I WILL READ YOUR BLOG WITH GREAT INTEREST AND WILL PRAY AS IT SEEMS FITTING.

    PEACE TO YOU, IN OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST.

    • says

      Thank you so much! Prayers are much appreciated, and I’ll be sending some your way as well. It looks like you have a excellent counseling practice going with lots of good information! Thanks for reading.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>